Posts Tagged ‘Steve Montador’

Happy Birthday, Steve Montador!! (Right) Don’t worry, Ray will hug you later.

A very happy birthday goes out to #5, Steve Montador!  You’re a pleasure to have on our team, and I hope you have a wonderful day!  Win tonight!  I promise I’ll bring you presents next time I see you. 


Steve Montador: man of surprise (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

Steve Montador, you just scored your first goal as a Blackhawk the other night, and last night you had TWO MORE.  Your last one before these three….drum roll…was on my birthday.  You and I are meant to be buddies; it’s like fate.  Your face when you score is just so…happy!  Ugh, that’s outstanding!  It just makes me tear up with excitement and happiness when you get all excited and flash that grin.  Almost as excited as when I heard about your cooking expeditions with Sami Lepisto and Ray Emery.  I may not like sushi, but any man who cooks is sexy.  Even if he’s not great or if he’s just learning, the attempt is sexy.  Very sexy.  Food is glorious, and a man who can make it…that’s outstanding.  But anyway, let’s move on.  Looking at you, you’re kinda pretty.  In a “gritty hockey player with perfect bone structure except for where it’s been hit with a puck and broken a nose/tooth” kind of way.  You have this chiseled face and athletic physique, and I can name at least two ladies that I know personally who would jump your bones without a second thought.  (Why, when I say “jump your bones” do I feel like I’m an old lady?  Do people say this anymore?  Ugh, I’m old.)  And remember how I raved about Carcillo’s tattoos?  Well the same goes for you.  I’ve never seen the whole tattoo thing you’ve got going on, but I saw what looks to be a sleeve poking out of your…well…sleeve in a few photos, and that’s ridiculously sexy.  It’s no secret I have a thing for tattoos, and you are no exception.  I only wish I knew what the rest looked like!  I wish I were capable of pulling off a full sleeve (or at least a half sleeve…) but I can’t.  It’s just not me.  So I really admire people that do it and pull it off with confidence.  Jealous.  Me.  Jealous of your tattoos.  Super swoon, that’s for sure. 

Steve Montador & Dan Carcillo: Laughter makes me smile.

Now, back to the focus.  In addition to your dashing good looks and build, you have a great laugh and childlike charm.  You’re the perfect balance of cute and sexy…and gritty.  Now this next thing…you may not think is a compliment, but it is.  If I compare you to a Muppet (this goes for any person in general) it’s a good thing, no matter what you may think.  I am in love with the Muppets, and you sir, remind me of a Muppet.  The Muppets are like my friends, and unless I’m comparing you to one of the random background creeper Muppets that don’t serve any real purpose other than to be creepy, I am merely pointing out the charm.  For instance, if I say, “you’re like my Fozzy Bear!” I mean that you’re funny, a little underappreciated and cuddly.  Now Steve Montador, if you were a Muppet, you’d be one all your own.  I don’t mean it like, a creepy puppet sort of thing, but like…that “so cute and friendly with a dash of awkward and different that you just can’t help but fall in love.”  You’re a little bit awkwardly shy…at least when I was talking to you.  Then again, it was just about day 1 and I’m sure you didn’t quite know what to think of all of these weird Chicago people, but I see that you’ve come to enjoy us and even are beginning to understand.  We may all be a little crazy, but we’re harmless…for the most part. J  You seem to fit in well with us out here.  I don’t know much about the people where you came from, but you’re fitting in well here in Chicago.  We kinda like you.  And not only with the fans/city in general, but with the team you seem to be finding your place.  Little by not-so-little, you’re fitting into a role, it seems. 

Soccer Monty. That's pretty hot!

Whether it was the role you served previously with other groups, I don’t’ know, but you’re finding a groove here and I like it.  You’re sneaky-good.  It’s like you creep up out of the shadows, unassumingly get yourself into justthe right spot, and BAM, a goal ends up on the board…or BOOM, some sorry as punk is lying on the ground, or some other magical little thing happens.  It’s pretty awesome to have such a “surprise” going on.  You’re not some “new kid” or some unexpected young surprise, you’re a gritty veteran with sneaky talent and a little bit of a wild streak.  I remember reading about you and expecting you not to do much more than be a somewhat average player and fight a lot, but I’m pleasantly surprised.  I don’t know if you’re just on a personal hot-streak right now, and if you are, don’t tell me about it because it’s ruining my fantasy that you’re going to just wow the hell out of us and take over the world…but you seem to be doing everything right after your somewhat underwhelming start to the season.  I can remember a few times where a bonehead move on your part led to a goal for the other team. 

Steve Montador's First Blackhawks Goal (Photo from

It happens, and I forgive you because you’ve heated up pretty hardcore.  One game you’re scoring goals, the next you might not have a single one, but you’re making good plays elsewhere, and on a night where your play might not be all that spectacular, you still go out there with heart and passion and your “sandpaper-like grit” seems to find a way to interrupt the flow of the opposition.  We can never really know which version of you to expect to see, but either way, it’s safe to assume that we’ll be enjoying it.  So that “element of surprise” night to night easily gives you the title of “Surprisingly Sexy.”  It’s not surprising that you are sexy, because you truly are a very good looking, fit, sweetheart of a man with a great sense of humor…it’s because it’s always a surprise which version the ladies will sigh and flutter their eyes over each night.  Whether you’re the #1 star with two goals, kick ass man of the night for your Gordie Howe Hat Trick,or if you’re sent out early for a game misconduct…whatever, we love it.  The fact is, we don’t really care whichversion of you we get…we just love them all.  You appeal to those who like the pretty boys, the ladies who like the talent, and the ones that just like you for your sheer grit.  You’re a little something to everyone.  It helps that you’re not a 20 year old kid as well.  Then girls like me don’t feel so dirty for writing things like this about you. The young ones can have their “Veteran Hot Crush,” and the older ladies can have their “He’s Not Too Young For Me” crush, so everyone is happy.  And if you keep scoring goals and showing all that excitement that you have lately, you’ll be keeping me happy.  You’ll keep giving me reasons to shout “Geez, I LOVE this guy!” each game like I have been for the past few.  Keep it up, Monty.  You’re really something special!